Frustration
I've decided that I have to try harder!! For the past three weeks I've being mostly o.k. with food - but my downfall is that I know I'm being just a bit casual with tracking, I get to mid afternoon and then can't remember was it today or yesterday that I had that muesli bar, banana etc? Not good enough!! Then I get frustrated because the scales just aren't moving - wonder why?? The past three weeks I've weighed at home weekly and my body has been a steady 70.4 each time. I can have 20 points a day but if somehow I'm slipping another couple in by being a bit cruisy then what's happening is maintainance not loss - and I want to lose! I have to be totally honest and lets see if I get some results. Exercise is not a problem - it's tracking!
I got told yesterday I had great motivation - don't know about that. To be truthful I'm finding this really hard at the moment. After three years of trying to get to goal and never quite making it - frustration hits. I know the past few weeks I haven't been as focussed as I could/ should be but last year I gave it a huge effort - and it still didn't happen. I've tried to accept me as I am - I think surely it can't be that hard to ditch 2-3 k's. But it is - well for me anyway. The other day at a WW meeting someone got a bit tearful over a gain, they had reached a plateau - I've been there for about a year! I've been going to WW so long that my family forget to ask me how I'm going! To start with one daughter phoned weekly and even if it was only 100 grams gone I got so much support - now they don't even ask, I'm sure they've forgotten I even still go!
The silly thing was when I started WW I thought I would never get down to goal as it may be too low for me. After many years hitting around the high 90's - 70 kilos sounded a magical figure that I would be happy with - (and almost got there - lowest weigh in was 70.1). I think I jinxed myself with the thought of that weight as I've never got below it!! I get sort of a desparate feeling at times as I never want to go back to what I was and I think it is that feeling that is keeping me going right now. Yep right now feeling frustrated, fed up, scared of gaining and just sick of worrying about points - I have to snap out of it and I know I will - but that's where I am right now!
We have another busy weekend ahead. Tomorrow I've off to be pampered at the hairdressers, love the visits - not only do I get to read the latest mags the hairdresser whips next door to the cafe and brings back a trim cappuchino - a little luxury. After that I'm meeting up with Jenny (Jo's mum) who is also having a visit to her hairdresser. Saturday we are off to the Mission concert in Hawkes Bay - sort of feel a little flat about this one as the two main acts don't really do much for me (or quite a few other people judging by the tickets for sale on Trade Me!) Last year was Rod Stewart and we were thrilled as the tickets were like gold and our group managed to get some! Then we got a wedding invite - MM's niece - same day as the concert so we gave up our tickets. This year the tickets were more expensive and all sorts of rumours about who the main act would be were going about - we heard the Eagles or Elton John and for some bizarre reason the tickets were sold before the act was announced. Still we are looking upon it as a weekend away with friends. Saturday we met up for lunch/shopping then head to the motel, we hire a mini bus to go to the concert, Sunday we usually go to the Farmer's market. so should be fun:)
Just went back over this post - I do sound a bit fed up but being able to put it down here has helped already!!
10 comments:
Good idea to be strict with your tracking and see if it makes a difference until you get to your goal.
Sounds like a great weekend planned. Have fun!
One of the things I admire most in you is your determination not to give up. You won't just say OK this is good enough - this is where I will stay. Even though where you are is really in a great place. NO. You set yourself a goal and a vision and by gum you are going to get there.
Perhaps tracking faithfully for a week will do the trick in turning it around. It's always lovely to come here and read what you are up to. Hope you have a great weekend :D
I think my Mum is going to that concert thingy - she's really looking forward to it.
I love it how writing this stuff down in your blog can make it all so much clearer :-)
Anne you will do this I am 100% sure of that.
We are all here with ya hun! And like the others have said - writing it down does help you in lots of ways and after all this is your journal - you have the right to say what you want and how you are feeling! Thats what it is for after all....
Have a great weekend.
I can understand your frustration, but I agree with the others that your determination and fighting spirit will get you to where you want to be in the end.
It's brilliant that you've recognised that tracking is a weak point for you, and I wish you luck in tackling it this week :-)
Honey-pie, I can see why you'd be frustrated. All the usual advice of 'Look at how far you've come' and 'At least you're not gaining' must seem so cliched!
All I can think of is maybe you drop your points lower for a couple of weeks and see if it helps - or even join me in giving NoCount a go?
Me again - in response to your comment on my blog. The bread thing is no problem for me - not much of a bread eater anyway. You could use some of your extra 21 points a week for that?
Hang in there Anne - you have done such an amazing job already. Try tracking faithfully for a couple of weeks and also try to change the foods that you are eating - I found that really helped me.
Have a fantastic weekend and take care !
Me
Great to catch up today. Have a relaxing weekend :)
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