Thursday

I still really can't take in the news we received very early yesterday morning. We missed the phone call and as it was just 6.00am I just knew something was wrong so hit the caller ID and dialled the number, then hearing my husband's brother saying his partner had died suddenly. I was knocked speechless to start with. It was very sudden and resulting from complications after an injury which got infected. Unbelievable and just so very sad. We didn't really know her that well but had met her a few times, and had also stayed with them for a few days a couple of years ago, she was so friendly and a lovely person. She was my age.

This brother lives in the South Island in quite a remote area to get to so we started planning, and our first throughts were the funeral would be in the weekend. We put a hold on our friends coming over to the beach. Then we heard the funeral is Tuesday and as our sub-contractor goes overseas tomorrow it is really impossible for Peter to attend. (Our business has a contract to met daily deadlines and we have work in already for next week and without our second man just not an option) I looked at flights for me and just going down for the day and my son could pick me up, but it was touch and go whether we would get there in time as either via Wellington or Christchurch. We then thought of going this weekend and spending time before the funeral but then thought afterwards may be when he would need the company. Have since talked to my brother-in-law again and we are going to go down in a few weeks and spend time with him then. Really hard but we're a big family and there are others going down. Also our son will be there. Does really make me think to get out there and enjoy every single minute - life really is too short. As a family we had a really tough year last year and it seems unbelievable that once again family members are coping with such sadness.

At times I really struggle with how much to put on my blog and nearly wasn't gone to share this news. I don't feel it's my news to share, but then again this is what's happening. I'm not looking for sympathy for us. I feel I started this year and especially in the past few entries feeling so full of life, raring to go and then realised it would so hard to sit here and just not say what's going on. Bit hard to explain really.......

The day continued on and at one stage I phoned Peter to tell him the date of the funeral and he said he had just had an accident! He said he was was fine but his vehicle had a bit of damage. I had to go to WW to work just as he arrived home (followed by someone to make sure the vehicle got back!!) but I had to rush as I was late. I saw not only the back door of his vehicle was mangled but also the front and there was water pouring out?? He mentioned that there was engine damage. I called out I would catch up later and drove into town wondering what had he done?! I arrived home about 8.30pm, poured a glass of wine and sat down to ask him exactly what had happened, then the phone went. It was Deb our daughter and I mentioned to her that her Dad had done a bit of damage to the vehicle. She asked what he had done so I was telling her it wasn't only the back door but also the front. He started to explain in the background- well the 1st accident was the back door and the fence and the 2nd one was the front of the vehicle and the concrete post!!!!! Deb could hear and said ''hell what's he on!". I cut the call short and finally heard the story.

Accident 1 - he backed out of a long narrow drive and the back door can't have been closed, it swung open and hit a fence taking part of the fence with it. Peter had to race into town and get fence pails and do a repair job.
Accident 2 - he was on a dirt farm track which sloped down, had to drive around another trade vehicle, it was rough ground and there was part of a concrete post sticking out of the ground, because of the angle he couldn't see it, he hit it, got stuck, reversed back, over it again..... so the poor vehicle is in today and most of tomorrow getting fixed and next week of to the panel beater. How do I explain all this to the insurance company.

Managing exercise, food etc does seem so immaterial at times like this, so easy to think who really cares, but I've found I've just plodded on with it in auto pilot. Thankfully I am on auto pilot and I'm not thinking about food otherwise I'm sure I would be jsut stuffing my face. I've got into the habit now of a morning walk so my steps have been over 10,000 every day. Will do an update later in the week. This morning I had physio and dropped in to our daughter's to take our little grandson for a walk in his pushchair, I forgot his brother wasn't back at kindy so ended up taking both Casey and Jordyn and off we went. We walked past our other two grandsons house (they live eight houses apart) Fynn saw me and wanted to come too! LOL - I felt like the Pied Piper! Me, a pushchair and two chatty 4 year olds. We did a circuit of the block, the two boys walked really well. I went to drop Fynn off and six year old Devin asked why I hadn't taken him! (Oops he was inside when I went past) so I dropped the two cousins off and once again wook off with the pushchair this time with Devin on his bike. Rachel my daughter joined us when we went past and we did another circuit, swapped over kids again (are you confused?)and they all went to their own homes for lunch. So 1.30pm and I've clocked up 7152 steps and it was fun!

Lastly the physio was really pleased with my progress, very little calf pain at all now and she said she could tell I had been working on the strengthening exercises. I have really tried here! Today she gave me more intense exercises to do. We talked about the gym, what could help further and she suggested building these exercises into a program. Also said to me walking was the best thing I could be doing, so a lot more of the planned. In fact that had already been planned. At WW last night we all wrote down some goals on paper, these are going to be opened at the end of February. I have three goals planned by then and will update later.

Earthquakes! One of my biggest fears, I just panic!! (Think I get that of my mum who used to do the same) We just had one! Peter was on the phone to the Insurance company. I yelled, jumped and ran, they would have heard me so Peter told the person on the phone that the office lady had just taken off and we were having an earthquake and could have another claim for them. Thankfully it stopped there - so... I'm back at work.