Heard it all before - but how easy to forget?

I was back helping at WW last night. The meeting was about the extras, the bites, licks that we all 'forget' about. I've heard that theme what seems like several times before. At the time, the lightbulb goes on and I think 'yes I'm guilty of that!' then the lightbulb dulls and I conveniently forget! I look around and the members are all talking, sharing experiences, aiming for their goals and where I'm I? Stuck behind the desk, smiling, weighing them, but not getting anything from this myself. When I stopped updating for a while - there were a few reasons
1) I'm not getting anywhere with what I want to achieve and I was thinking why and what could I do.
2) I need to stop moaning about it and actually get of my butt and do something - not just for a week or two - but long term and keep at it!
3) I had got to my Personal Goal at WW then slowly gained about 4-5 kilos (BUT on my scales - WW would be heavier so WHO AM I KIDDING!)
4) Deep down I KNOW the only way I'm going to do this is to face up to weighing in and before our holiday I knew I had to face the WW scales again - accept it and get on with my goal.

So last night (in the kitchen between meetings) I spoke to my old leader. I mean she must be wondering about me, there helping, never actually weighing in. I told her I NEEDED to come back. I was embarrased to have to say I'm probably about 4-5 kilos heavier (once again that is my scales which are lighter so it will be more at WW!) But once said I felt like a huge weight (no pun) had been lifted of my shoulders. Instead of burying my head in the sand, having a couple of good weeks, then mucking around, getting nowhere, telling you all I found my mojo - oops lost it again. I'm going back to WW. This isn't just a fleeting, sudden decision, it's something I realised a few weeks ago I need to do in order to succeed. I have found some of the meetings repetative but last night bought it home to me, I need that, because at the time it sinks in, it re-enforces what I already know. The meeting last night reminded me of quite a few little things that find their way into my mouth and I 'forget' it reminded me once again 'if you eat it - track it!'

My leader has given me a list of meetings, I'm going to find one that I can committ to (every week) and next week I'm taking myself of and sitting in on the meetings. It felt good to be able to talk to my leader, and I knew she totally understood as she has had a few struggles weigh wise of her own. I also know she will go out of her way to support me - what else could I ask for. I'm still going to go along and meet Chris & co on Saturdays because I know I do need all the support I can get.

A few of you with larger amounts to lose may think I'm a bit over the top maybe worrying about just a few kilos - but I know how easy it would be to get in the way of thinking - I'm (only) up 4 - 5 kilos, well the truth is next year unless I get my act together I could be sitting here saying - I'm up 8 - 10 kilos.... and I know where I would be heading then. And this blog is for me so if you think I have no worries - don't read it!

As I said earlier this week, I've been easing my way back into this. First getting back into tracking, today I've started drinking water again (another thing I had 'forgotten' about). I have exercised every day. Today the pedometer came out of it's hiding place. I know I have a battle ahead with being on medication that can cause weight gain, but if I lose weight I may manage to get of the medication.... No-one said it is impossible!

I do know that once I face up to those WW scales and get on with it I will feel a lot better.

This time when I started this journey I knew it was going to have to be for ever but I didn't even contemplate how bloody hard that was going to be!

***** UPDATE *****
Our daughter was pulled aside at child care yesterday, they are concerned about Jordyn's speech. He has a funny way of pronoucing some words (His dad is English and we thought Jordyn had a bit of a mixture of accents! ) So of to the doctors (to see if speech clinic is an option.) The doctor feels maybe he is hard of hearing, so next week he is booked into a specialist. I'm sure it is something that can be sorted. His mum had hearing difficulties as a child and ended up having tonsils removed which helped. I told Rachel not to worry as he also has had a couple of episodes of 'glue' ear, ear infections and englarged tonsils. Poor little man, this is also the little man who had the birthmark removed earlier this year and has had a couple of stays in hospital with asthma!