Sad

Amber was put to sleep just before 3.00pm today. One of the toughest decisions we have ever made. But in the end we both agreed we felt it was the only way to go. She was almost 15 years, had a tumour, and quite a few other problems, also major surgery ahead. We had by this morning made our decision. Then found the blood tests showed liver abnormalities, which would have meant ultra sound, x-rays before surgery. None of this made it any easier at all. It was heart breaking. We spent about 30 minutes with her before she was injected, she seemed alert and happy which made it all seem a lot harder, but thinking maybe it was better she was like this rather than in heaps of pain. She honestly did not know what was happening, the vet and Peter were on the floor with her, ( I couldn't) quickly the injection went in and within seconds she was gone. When I said heart breaking, it was! It was painfull. She had all her trust in us and yet we knew what was going to happen. Made it so hard. So within minutes Peter picked her up and put her in our vehicle and we came home.

Home - the family were all up today because of Deb's birthday. Strange as everything was up in the air and we all talked about not having the planned lunch, but then both Peter and I would have been sitting around waiting for the vet's phone call, it also kept us busy while they were doing the tests on Amber. So we had our lunch together, sad knowing what was in store, but also sort of happy, with our kids and the support. A bit of fun with the grandkids, really lovely having our kids around also my sister and our daughter's extended family. Peter and I left just after 2.00pm to head to the vets, we knew what was in store, the family tidied up, our son-in-laws dug the grave. Your comments were so right, we really didn't know what to do, but then went with our gut feeling and the decision was made and it happened.

Home - we bought Amber home, this is when it really got to me. We had talked to the vet about how our younger dog Toby would react. She said thought he should see her but really didn't have any other suggestions. Toby came racing up to the vehicle and we opened the back door, he seemed excited when he saw Amber and was wagging his tail, then he just stopped, looked at Amber then at Peter, kept looking from Amber to Peter, so puzzled. The look on his face was so hard to deal with. He was totally confused - but not upset. We all were though. He sat while they buried her. Us weaker people had headed inside but our son in law told our daughter that Peter patted Toby and just said she's gone now. So now Amber is buried under a rimu tree not far from her kennel.

She was a beautiful girl - Just got to mention this - Peter took photos of Amber in a paddock of wheat years ago, the wheat all golden, Amber all golden and very cute, then he sent a photo into the Women's Weekly and won second prize. I had forgotten this until he mentioned to the vet today - so we weren't the only ones that thought she was beautiful!

We're ok - sort of, just hope our Toby dog will be. Thanks for your thoughts.